On Monday, the 4th of July 2022, my Father died by suicide. I can still recall every single detail of that day. Death by suicide is different and it is difficult to explain why? It knocks you off balance and life around you seem warped. My heart broke in a different way, over and over again, almost daily since that dark day. I carried guilt that wasn’t mine to carry, I was confused and angry and so, so sad.
I prayed. This was an alone path of intense grief that I had to walk with God, and time and time again “RunningSpace” came to mind – this to me was God’s gentle whisper. I knew I had to text Jacky, because I believed in the work she does, and I wholeheartedly supported it and even suggested it to people I worked with.
I didn’t have the courage because this time, it was for me – just me, stripped from my role and with my knees on the ground and my heart in my hands. After 6 months, on the 1st of January 2023, I texted her: “Are you running on Monday”. Her reply: “We sure are, 7pm at the Pelham.”(Winking emoji)
How many times have I picked up the phone and couldn’t text, how many times did I put my running shoes on, and couldn’t leave the house, or sat in the car not able to start it? Until I did – God carried me into The Pelham that Monday night and plonked me down and said – now run.
I received a warm welcome and we ran, that’s all, we ran. The front runners loop around the ones at the back and in doing so, nobody gets left behind. I wasn’t left behind.
It was truly the best thing I did this year. I go running whenever I am able. I run for faith, I run for God, I run for my Dad, for my Husband and for my three children, I run for me. I run for every single one of the stunning runners in our group, and I thank God for them. We are still here, and we are making a difference – we run for LIFE!
Come and run with us, it might just change your life…